And Lin's Just Like Uh I'm Gonna Keep Typing
by Goldfish-Con-Carne
Summary: So, this is really, really, ridiculous, but it was fun to write. Basically, Naru gets tried of Mai wandering off at night and decides to literally teach her a lesson. RxR please!


**So, I wrote this idea up in a review for a story that I really loved (Stolen Voice by HandsomeAngel) and she told me I should write it as a fanfic and then I got really, really, really bored and also I sometimes take things too literal. So I decided she was right, I totally should. So I'm gonna go ahead and dedicate this to HandsomeAngel. I hope you like it! XD  
**

**I'm gonna warn you that 1) this is definitely not my best writing... second, there is a whole lot of... ridiculousness, that's the only way I can describe it. And probably some oocness too and C) I have not even spell checked this thing... 4) I fail at lists.  
**

**Oh yeah, I don't own Ghost Hunt.**

Mai sighed as she opened the door to the office. She was late, as usual, but this time around she had a perfectly good reason that even Naru couldn't argue with.

"Mai, you're late."

"Yeah, well, maybe if someone hadn't kept me out until 2 in the morning on some stupid case and then informed me that I was still supposed to show up to work at the usual time then- What is that?" The anger in Mai's eyes turned to confusion at the sight in front of her. The office had been rearranged so that the two couches and the chairs were lined up against one wall, facing a... chalkboard? Ayako, Bou-san, John, Yasuhara, Masako, and even Lin were sitting on the couches. Lin was typing away at his laptop, as usual, but the others were uncharacteristically silent. Even Ayako and Bou-san weren't fighting. Mai began to worry about both her own mental well being and theirs.

"Is this a dream?"

"Sit down, Mai, this is for your benefit." Naru came out of his office carrying a book, a box of chalk, and an extendable pointer.

"Um... okay?" Mai dropped her bag and coat on her desk (which had also been moved to make room for the chalkboard). She sat between Bou-san and Ayako, directly across from the chalkboard. "So... what's going on?"

"Do you recall what happened on our most recent case?" Naru came to stand in front of the chalkboard, resting his pale hand on the side. The board shook a little, revealing that it could be spun around.

"Uh, yeah... we went to that house with the ghost who-"

"No, I mean in a more specific way. Do you remember what happened on our last night there?"

"I was... Well, I was attacked by the spirit..." Mai had no idea where this was going. She looked to Bou-san on her right who only gave her a small, encouraging smile. Ayako gave her the same look, though she also shot a glare in Bou-san's direction. Yasuhara was giggling slightly and Masako was hiding her face behind her sleeve. John was looking away from the room and Lin continued to type.

_Huh, from where I'm sitting, if I lean back a little bit, I could actually read what he was writing. I'm curious, what does he spend all of his time..._

"MAI!" Mai jumped when Naru shouted her name, a blush spreading across her cheeks and even touching her ears and the top of her throat. "Now, I'll ask again, do you know why you were attacked by that spirit?"

"Uh, I never know why I'm attacked, I just always am." She shrugged, blushing slightly as Yasuhara burst into laughter and Naru silenced him with an icy look. She was still so confused, none of what was going on made any sense.

"No, you were attacked because you went out, after dark, alone, _again_ even though we've told you at least a million times not to for very specific reasons."

"Wait, it definitely hasn't been a million times, you're exaggerating-" Naru threw the book in his hand onto the table, making everyone but Lin jump.

"Now then, it seems telling you was not enough, so I've prepared a lesson so that maybe, just maybe, you will understand what I am trying to tell you."

"A lesson? C'mon Naru, I'm not at school-"

Naru spun the board around and sighed. Someone (Yasuhara) had drawn illustrations to go with all the points he wanted to make. Ghosts and men wearing eye patches decorated the board. Yasuhara and Bou-san both laughed, but Naru ignored it.

"Now Mai, let me teach you the dangers of going outside alone. See, when you go out at dark, bad things tend to happen, such as events like what happened on this case," He slammed the tip of the pointer underneath one words written in all capital letters on the board, 'Ghost Attacks'. Underneath that was written 'Tripping' 'Wells' 'Alley Ways' and... 'Pirates'... hence the men with the eye patches. "As you know, ghosts like the dark, and you, so when you are alone in the dark you..." Naru kept speaking, but Mai stopped listening.

_I know I'm not supposed to go out alone after dark, but what else am I supposed to do? Wake someone up every time I have to use the bathroom?_ Mai sighed quietly so that Naru wouldn't notice. She let her attention switch from his voice to the window and the cherry trees just visible in the nearby park. _I would much rather be out there. It would be nice to get some time to myself one day, just to hang out in the park, like I used to. _Mai felt her eyelids getting heavier. _I should probably pay more attention before Naru gets mad at me... But I didn't get much sleep last night..._

"MAI TANIYAMA!" (a/n: yeah, I know her last name should be first, but Naru's mad so he's switched back to the English order on accident).

"WHAT?"

"When I am speaking to you I would appreciate it if you would at least pretend to stay awake!"

"Maybe I could if I hadn't been up until 2 in the morning lugging around heavy equipment while you sat around and read a book!"

"Oh, here they go." Ayako hit Bou-san as he spoke, her purse clanking against his head. "OW! What do you keep in there!"

"Well isn't that what I pay you for!" Naru's voice was cold, quiet, and calm. Mai's was not.

"That doesn't mean you can treat me like some sort of slave! I have feelings you know! And needs too! And sometimes I need sleep!"

"Five hours is plenty of sleep to do office work."

"Well, maybe for you Mr. Narcissistic Robot! But some of us are human!"

"Well yes, I suppose such things would be hard on a weak human such as yourself." he placed his chin in his hand, "Well, perhaps I could have give you an extra hour or so to sleep..."

"WEAK HUMANS SUCH AS MYSELF? What are you implying?"

"I am implying that if, perhaps, you were just a bit stronger mentally you could stay awake for longer periods of time and wouldn't feel the need to sleep at work and on cases."

"May I remind you that my dreams help out on cases all the time?"

"You may." Naru's voice was still emotionless, even his eyes were their normal icy blue color.

Mai jumped out of her seat, moving around the table as if she was going to slap Naru across the face. In fact, she raised her hand to do just that. Bou-san gasped, Ayako stood up as if to stop her, Masako hid her face behind her kimono sleeve, John's jaw dropped, and even Lin looked up from his laptop screen.

Naru grabbed her wrist before she could hit him and pulled her against his chest, sealing her lips with his. Mai's face went beyond tomato red to a whole new red color that no one in the room had seen before. Masako's eyes blazed behind her kimono and John smiled awkwardly.

"Hey! It's like all those student-teacher shenanigans you hear about when you're watching..." Bou-san let his voice die off as Ayako raised her handbag threateningly.

"You perverted old monk!"

"Who you calling old, you old hag!"

"What did you just say!" Ayako used her purse to beat Bou-san over the head. "What. Did. You. Just. Say?"

"I called you an old hag!"

"Now guys, is it really worth fighting over this?" John blushed as he tried to get between Ayako and Bou-san.

Ayako and Bou-san both stopped to look at John. "YES!" they shouted together before Ayako continued trying to attack Bou-san. Masako watched as Naru continued kissing Mai, making rude faces at the girl that were strategically hidden behind the bright floral pattern of her kimono sleeve. Lin watched all of this with his usual calm expression. Then he went back to typing on his laptop.

"You jerk!" Mai yelled when Naru finally pulled away from her, "I was in the middle of a rant and you totally just kissed me!"

"Yeah, I noticed." His voice was the same monotone voice he always used but his eyes sparkled with something Mai didn't recognize.

"Now wait, wait just a second. WAIT! Hold up! Listen to me for a second!"

Everyone in the room froze, looking to Yasuhara who had stood up and was now demanding their attention. "If Naru-chan and Mai-chan are going to make out..." He let the sentence hang for a moment, going to wrap his arm around Bou-san's waist, "Does that mean that _we_ can get a moment?" he raised his eyebrows suggestively at the monk.

Bou-san proceeded to faint.

**So yeah, all kinds of ridiculousness... I hope y'all like it, even though it's not my personal favorite...**


End file.
